Month: June 2020

“You are where you are today because you stand on somebody’s shoulders. And wherever you are heading, you cannot get there by yourself. If you stand on the shoulders of others, you have a reciprocal responsibility to live your life so that others may stand on your shoulders. It’s the quid pro quo of life. We exist temporarily through what we take, but we live forever through what we give.” —Vernon Jordan

I thought a lot about my dad this Father’s Day weekend.  He passed away five years ago in June and I still miss him.  Like all fathers, he wasn’t perfect, but the lessons he taught me have had a profound impact on my life.  I wanted to share some of those lessons with you today.

Be an engineer – Plan ahead.  I can’t remember a single project that my dad took on that didn’t have a plan fully developed before he started.  Many times, he even had written diagrams and details.  He would be frustrated when we (especially my sister and I) would act without thinking ahead. It was his fundamental philosophy. He loved seeing how efficiently he could get something done.  Apply engineering discipline to problems, projects and even PLAY.  That’s right, he would have blueprints drawn up for our vacations (ok not exactly but they were fully planned).  But it all taught me the value of engineering, being thoughtful, solving problems with design, science and planning.

Work hard – My dad was never afraid to do the hard-manual work himself, mowing lawns, repairing his car, fixing something at home or working long hours to get a job out at the office.  While not unkind he had little patience for lazy people (or his own kids). He set the example with hands-on effort, blood, sweat and tears. 

Be considerate – My dad would say “leave things better than you found them”. When you can, go above and beyond when dealing with others.  If he borrowed something he expected to return it in better shape.  Being considerate was really about the golden rule. Treat others as you would want to be treated. Don’t make others have to wait on you or clean up after you.  

Details matter – Craftsmanship and precision artistry should be in all things.  My dad would say, looking at a car, a tool, or anything else, “See how the seams line up?  Notice the precision of the gap.”  You can see and feel the quality.  If you were cleaning he would help you see if you missed a spot. Underneath?  Did you get the crevices?  Check the edges.  It taught me to have an eye for detail.

Enjoy each moment – You should savor and soak in life.  Laugh and smile.  Anytime we tried something new, my dad would provide instructions: slow down, observe, enjoy and taste all the flavor. That mindfulness approach to living life transcends all the chaos, turmoil and Coronavirus pandemic world we live in.  It reminds me to look for the good and breathe it in.  Appreciate each moment and celebrate life together.

Many of us can look back to others, our parents, grandparents, friends or mentors and think how their lessons and investments in us have made profound differences in our lives.  The foundational opportunities we were given are gifts, unmerited and incredibly powerful.  Not everyone receives the same investment or shoulders to stand on.   As Vernon Jordan eloquently put it, if we stand on the shoulders of others, we have a reciprocal responsibility to live our life so that others may stand on our shoulders.  It would be unjust for me to take what I have been given and not share it with others. 

What are you doing to help others in your family, on your team or in the world?  Don’t miss the great opportunity to pay it forward, encourage others, invest your talents, time, energy and resources in helping each other.  Plan to make a difference in someone else.   “We exist temporarily through what we take, but we live forever through what we give.” 

“Character is power. If you want to be powerful in the world, if you want to be strong, influential and useful, you can be so in no better way than by having a strong character.” —Booker T. Washington

I love tea.  Many of you know how much I like coffee, but you may not know how much I also enjoy tea.  I have tried many teas over the years but my current favorite is PG Tips, a popular British blend of Assam, Ceylon and Kenyan teas.  It’s interesting to me how they can all look and smell the same in the tea bag but can be so dramatically different after steeped.  You can’t know the flavor until the hot water pulls it out from the leaves.  So often in life we think we know our own character and what is core to our being, but it isn’t until the trials of life that we truly discover what is on the inside.  Like tea, our true character is revealed in the hot waters of difficulty, stress, pressure and challenges.  What we really are, what we have cultivated and nurtured on the inside spills out.  Difficulties don’t define us, but reveal the true us.   

We just crossed over the 3^rd month since the start of COVID, social distancing, face masks, safer at home remote work and now economic and social justice issues. How are you doing during these difficult times?  What is spilling out of you?  What have you learned about yourself and others?  Does it make you happy or make you want to change?  These are questions I’ve been asking myself.   I must confess, I feel like I’m a bit more like Decaffeinated Lipton than PG Tips.  I am too easily frustrated and irritated at things that don’t go my way.  I don’t always listen well (my family helped me discover this).  I should be more vocal and active in supporting my fellow human brothers and sisters.  I have work to do.

As the hot waters of difficulty and change washed over my family and team, I must say, I am incredibly proud. I have seen heroic characters surface in areas I didn’t expect, compassion, generosity, optimism and leadership spill out from all areas.  I have also seen a river of creative problem-solving.

Sure, there have been moments when tempers flare and struggles with despair set in, but even in those moments we have had good conversations.  I know that we all have a list of things we have discovered about ourselves and each other.  My challenge to you today is to not let this great opportunity go to waste.  As we do with all incidents, this is a great moment to study, learn and change.  Be understanding.  Be kind but also be brave. 

What’s in your tea cup?  What would you change about yourself?  Your character spills out and becomes a powerful agent to influence the world around you. You matter.  Your character matters.  What you are inside will be revealed during difficulties.  Take this opportunity to learn about yourself and cultivate a strong character so that when it spills out it becomes a powerful and useful influence on the world.